NERDS! (who have been drinking)

You know, most people would never wonder if the guys responsible for the comic strip Penny Arcade have ever seen Clerks. It's when I realize things like that, that's when I begin to question exactly how much of my life/mind I've wasted.

Let me backtrack. There's a web comic strip called Penny Arcade, about video games. It's much nerdier about video games than I am, so sometimes I don't really understand exactly what they are talking about, but it's almost always really funny. And the guys who do the comic strip also do a podcast. While I was walking Dylan tonight (for those who haven't met him, yes, the family's Labrador Retriever is named for Robert Allen Zimmerman. Don't act like you are surprised.) I was listening to the aforementioned Penny Arcade podcast. The two writers were talking about a Star Wars novel that one of them had read about the construction of the Death Star. The conversation turned to the fate of all of the non-Imperial people on the Death Star when Luke Skywalker blew it up- all of the service industry guys who didn't have any political stake in the galactic civil war. If this sounds familiar, it's because Dante and Randall have this exact same conversation in Clerks. Anyone who has seen Clerks ten or twenty times like I have will immediately recognize that. But the Penny Arcade guys, while having a conversation almost indistinguishable from the one in Clerks, never comment on this fact. This is now what is eating at me.

Look at it this way. Who watches Kevin Smith films? Nerds, of one sort of another. Yes, some people who aren't nerds happen to see his films, but as a rule, Kevin Smith films are the domain of nerds. (Being one of the nerdiest people I know, I'm allowed to use the n-word like this. My only hope/consolation is that I'm more like the nerds in High Fidelity than the ones at Star Trek conventions. At least, that's what I tell myself. But how nerdy do I get? Last night, when I was thinking about asking this girl I know if she wanted to go to the Pharoahe Monch show, I couldn't stop thinking about Weezer lyrics. "I asked you to go the Green Day concert/You say you never heard of them/How cool is that?". That's pretty nerdy. ) So why haven't the Penny Arcade guys, leaders of the nerd pack, familiarr with Clerks? If they are familiar with the film, why don't they mention Clerks during their conversation? I suppose the most likely explanation is that they have seen Clerks, but maybe only once or twice, and don't actually remember the Death Star conversation in Clerks. Still, it bothered me. And the fact that I was bothered by the lack of a Kevin Smith reference during a conversation about Star Wars while listening to a video game podcast scares the living hell out of me. It also reminds me that I really should have Clerks and the Star Wars films on DVD. (Actually, for reasons that escape me at the moment, I do have a copy of Episode I on DVD. But I mean the real Star Wars movies

So, at the moment I'm drinking Magic Hat's Odd Notion and watching Arrested Development (Keith mentioned the show yesterday and then the DVDs found their way right back into the machine. It's a strange phenomenon. Right now I'm half-watching the one where Michael sleeps with Julia Louis-Dreyfus who is pretending to be blind.) In a few hours I'll probably be smoking on the porch, fairly drunk, and listening to one of the following albums on my iPod:
Buck 65- I Dream of Love- Live and in Private (in particular the song "Pants on Fire")
Bob Dylan- Blood on the Tracks (in particular "Idiot Wind")
or
The Stones- Exile on Main Street ("I Just Want To See His Face")
or something else altogether. Maybe Atmosphere, maybe Pavement, maybe Will Oldham.
Who knows?

I was curious about what songs I've listened to on my iPod the most. So I checked. Keep in mind, in order for the song to count, according to iPod rules, one has to hear the end of the song. So if I always skip over a few seconds of silence at the end of the song, it doesn't register. Anyway, here's the list. I was going to just do the first 25, but I found the list so fascinating I kept going. Plus I've been drinking and I get more OCD when my mind is altered. But I don't blame you if you aren't similarly fascinated by my iPod listening habits, so you can quit reading now if you like.

1. Bob Dylan- High Water (off of Love & Theft)
2. Love- A House is Not a Motel (Forever Changes)
3. Elvis Costello- Beyond Belief (Imperial Bedroom)
4. Green Day- Holiday (American Idiot) (I'm surprised too.)
5. Bob Dylan- Abandoned Love (Biograph Box Set)
6. Bob Dylan- Like A Rolling Stone (Highway 61 Revisited)
7. Gorillaz - Feel Good Inc. (Demon Days)
8. Love- Alone Again Or (Forever Changes) (Buck 65 likes this song)
9. the Band- Acadian Driftwood (Northern Lights, Southern Cross)
10. Bob Dylan- I Want You (Blonde on Blonde)
11. Neutral Milk Hotel- In The Aeroplane Over the Sea (ibid)
12. Rolling Stones- Tumbling Dice (Exile On Main Street)
13. Tom Waits- Jockey Full of Bourbon (Rain Dogs)
14. Buck 65- Yesterday's News (Heck)
15. Elvis Costello- Two Little Hitlers (Armed Forces)
16. Jeff Buckley- Hallelujah (Grace)
17. Aesop Rock- All in All (Def Jux Presents 3)
18. Bob Dylan- Things Have Changed (Wonder Boys soundtrack)
19. El-P- Flyentology (Cassettes Won't Listen Remix)
20. Leonard Cohen- Everybody Knows (I'm Your Man)
21. Neutral Milk Hotel- Holland, 1946 (Aeroplane Over the Sea)
22. Replacements- Alex Chilton (Pleased to Meet Me)
23. Aesop Rock- Junkyard (2K6 The Tracks)
24. Bob Dylan- You're A Big Girl (Blood On The Tracks)
25. Bob Dylan- Subterranean Homesick Blues (Bringing It All Back Home)
26. Bob Dylan- All Along The Watchtower (John Wesley Harding)
27. Buck 65- Rough House Blues (Secret House Against The World)
28. The Band- This Wheel's On Fire (Music From Big Pink)
29. Buck 65- 1957 (Situation)
30. Elvis Costello- Green Shirt (Armed Forces)
31. Elvis Costello- ...And In Every Home (Imperial Bedroom)
32. Love- The Daily Planet (Forever Changes)
33. Love- The Red Telephone (Forever Changes)
34. The Ramones- Needles & Pins (Road To Ruin)
35. Bob Dylan- Visions of Johanna (Blonde on Blonde)
36. Bob Dylan- Tangled Up In Blue (Blood On The Tracks)
37. Bob Dylan- It's All Over Now, Baby Blue (Bringing It All Back Home)
38. Bob Dylan- Thunder On The Mountain (Modern Times)
39. Buck 65- All There Is To Know About Love (Cretin Hip Hop 1)
40. Love- Andmoreagain (Forever Changes)
41. Slug/Aesop Rock/MF Doom- Put Your Quarter Up (Ritual of the...Revisited)
42. Neutral Milk Hotel- King of Carrot Flowers Part One (Aeroplane)
43. Neutral Milk Hotel- The Fool (Aeroplane)
44. Neutral Milk Hotel- Communist Daughter (Aeroplane)
45. Nirvana- Scentless Apprentice (In Utero)
46. The Pixies- Wave of Mutilation (Doolittle)
47. Atmosphere- Musical Chairs (You Can't Imagine How Much Fun We're Having)
48. Bob Dylan- Stuck Inside of Mobile With the Memphis Blues Again (Blonde)
49. Bob Dylan- Idiot Wind (Blood On The Tracks)
50. Bob Dylan- Man In The Long Black Coat (Oh Mercy)
51. Bob Dylan- Senor (Tales of Yankee Power (Street Legal)
52. Bruce Springsteen- Downbound Train (Born In The USA)
53. The Coup- Everythang (Party Music)
54. David Bowie- Sound and Vision (Low)
55. El-P- Oxycontin Part 2 (Def Jux Presents 3)
56. Manic Street Preachers- A Design For Life (Everything Must Go)
57. The Minutemen- History Lesson Part 2 (Double Nickels On The Dime)
58. The Replacements- Skyway (Pleased To Meet Me)
59. Richard and Linda Thompson- When I Get to the Border (I Want to See the Bright Lights Tonight)
60. Sonic Youth- Teen Age Riot (Daydream Nation)
61. Atmosphere- Say Hey There (You Can't Imagine)
62. The Band - Stage Fright (Stage Fright)
63. Bob Dylan- You're Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go (Blood on the Tracks)
64. Bob Dylan- Lily, Rosemary and the Jack of Hearts (Blood on the Tracks)
65. Bob Dylan- She Belongs To Me (Bringing It All Back Home)
66. Bob Dylan- Love Minus Zero/No Limit (Bringing It All Back Home)
67.Bob Dylan- One More Cup of Coffee (The Valley Below) (Desire)
68. Bob Dylan- Changing of the Guard (Street Legal)
69. Brother Ali- Champion (Shadows on the Sun)
70. Brother Ali- Daylight (The Undisptued Truth)
71. Brother Ali- Freedom Ain't Free (The Undisputed Truth)
72. David Bowie- Ashes To Ashes (Changesbowie)
73. David Bowie- Speed of Life (Low)
74. David Bowie- Breaking Glass (Low)
75. David Bowie- What In The World (Low)
76. David Bowie- Be My Wife (Low)
77. El-P- Tasmanian Pain Coaster (I'll Sleep When You're Dead)
78. El-P - Dear Sirs (I'll Sleep)
79. Elvis Costell0- Accidents Will Happen (Armed Forces)
80. Elvis Costello- Oliver's Army (Armed Forces)
81. Elvis Costello- Goon Squad (Armed Forces)
82. Elvis Costello- Man Out Of Time (Imperial Bedroom)
83. Gnarls Barkley- Crazy (St. Elsewhere)
84. Graham Parker- Discovering Japan (Squeezing Out Sparks)
85. Kanye West- Jesus Walks (The College Dropout)
86. Love- Old Man (Forever Changes)
87. My Bloody Valentin- When You Sleep (Loveless)
88. Neutral Milk Hotel- The King of Carrot Flowers Part 2 (Aeroplane)
89. R.E.M.- Fall On Me (Eponymous)
90. The Ramones- Danny Says- (End of the Century)
91. The Rolling Stones- Paint It Black (Aftermath)
92. The Beach Boys- God Only Knows (Pet Sounds)
93. Bob Dylan- Can You Please Crawl Out Your Window (Biograph)
94. Bob Dylan- Maggie's Farm (Bringing It All Back Home)
95. Bob Dylan- As I Went Out Morning (John Wesley Harding)
96. Bob Dylan- Summer Days (Love & Theft)
97. Bob Dylan- Lay Lady Lay (Nashville Skyline)
98. Bruce Springsteen- Candy's Room (Darkness On The Edge of Town)
99. Buck 65- Dang (Situation)
100. Buck 65- Wicked and Weird (Talking Honky Blues)
Make of that what you will. Keep in mind that I've really only listened to Love and Neutral Milk Hotel on my iPod, so the fact that I discovered their life-alteringly good albums during my Ipod years weighs in on the list. Same with David Bowie's Low album. Also, I was reading the 33 1/3 books on some of the albums that are really heavily represented here, so I was listening to the tracks a lot while I was reading about them. Frankly, I'm surprised I don't listen to more Neil Young, The Who, The Clash or The Beatles on my iPod, or maybe I just don't have one song of theirs that I've been obsessed with over the last year or two. I mean, Scentless Apprentice isn't my favorite Nirvana song, but I found that it's noise is a fantastic musical palate cleanser, so that's probably why it snuck onto the list. Also, my Bob Dylan obsession might be bordering on clinical. My point is that if you've never heard Bowie's Low album, you really haven't been living. Or maybe it's the other way around. Who knows for sure?

And if I had broken up with someone recently The Clash's "Train In Vain" would be all over the list. More than once I've drunkenly emailed the entire lyrics of that song to some poor girl who came to her senses. That or "Shoot You Down" by the Stone Roses or half a dozen Springsteen songs. I probably shouldn't mention that, but it's some of my proudest "least proud" moments, really.
I'm not sure I understand why any one's still reading. I mean, I would be, but most people aren't like me (thank the Gods...)