Hogwarts Calling

So, as the last Harry Potter novel (theoretically, anyway) drops in about twenty-four hours. Based on previous experience, I'm guessing that my copy will arrive at my mailbox in about thirty-six hours. (I'm more than willing to wait that long if it means I can avoid the crowds of people wearing costumes at the book stores at midnight.) Right now, I'm doing my best to avoid spoilers- at this point I'm avoiding any wikipedia pages remotely connected to Harry Potter out of concern that someone will give away the ending, because people are stupid, vile creatures who do things like that.

But all that's beside the point, since I'm fairly certain that I've worked out how this thing has to end. It has to be one of a handful of ways.

1- Harry, Hermoine and Ron have finally taken out Lord Voldemort, and they go to a diner to celebrate. Harry orders the onion rings, and starts flipping through the juke box. The book describes a series of sketchy looking witches and wizards entering the diner. One menacing wizard comes out of the bathroom, you turn the page, and then there's nothing but blank pages. All the critics think the ending's brilliant, while the regular fans just feel ripped off.

2- The book begins with the death of Voldemort, who utters the single word "Fire Bolt" before he dies. The rest of the book is a series of flashbacks, as Harry and company journey through Voldemort's life, as remembered by those who knew him best. In the end, they decide that they might never know what the word means, as they take a box of his childhood belongings to be destroyed, they don't notice that on his first broomstick, the word "Fire Bolt" is etched into the handle. The book ends.

3- At the end of the book, Harry and his friends finally have Voldemort cornered. Hermoine suddenly realizes that what everyone thought was his face, disfigured by decades of use of evil magic, was actually a mask. They rip the mask off, only to discover that Lord Voldemort was actually the owner of the run-down amusement park near Hogwarts. The last line of the book? "And I would have gotten away with it, if it wasn't for you meddling kids".

4- At the end of the book, Harry wakes up next to Suzanne Pleshette. He tells her he had such a weird dream...

I'm pretty confident that one of those is the actual ending.

[I'm so lame]