A Cry For Help, Plus: My Baseball Picks

So, a week or so into this gig, and I'm still not sure exactly of the who, what or why. A few of my friends were nice enough to lie to me and claim that they will seriously think about maybe reading it, but I can't shake the feeling that there's something unpleasantly egotistical about this whole scene. Which might be the entire point. I don't know. If anyone stumbles across this, let me know what it is you want? Drunken political rantings? Lectures about how music was better before anyone in my generation was born, complete with references to bands that none of you listen to? Arrogant literary analysis and put-downs of books that people without degrees in literature read and book clubs discuss? Sports discussions that invariably dissolve into vitriolic diatribes about why I hate UNC and Duke so much, with some bashing of sportswriters' obsession with RBIs and my fanatical, bordering on Oedipal dislike of cricket? Imaginary readers, the ball is in your court.

Try not to act quite so excited.

What I'm reading: Nabokov's Lolita for class, Philip Roth's American Pastoral, the 33 1/3 book on R.E.M.'s Murmur album.

What I'm writing: Papers on Intertexuality in V For Vendetta (the comic and the inferior movie) and the depiction of author's relationship to their creation in Nabokov's Bend Sinister and the film Stranger Than Fiction. I haven't written any bad poetry lately (bad poetry is pretty much the only kind I write. If you fictional vainglorious bastards don't behave I might take the Vogon route and start posting it. Not afraid? You will be.)

What I'm Listening To: Big Star, R.E.M., a bunch of ESPN related podcasts (my new favorite is Tony Kornheiser's radio show, which is so entertaining I don't skip over the analysis of American Idol. That's saying something). The new El-P album. And, like I mentioned, I'm going to see Kid Koala tomorrow night.

What I'm watching: House was pretty good last night, not outstanding but solid. This pretty much clears up my prime time tv schedule until Sopranos makes it's triumphant return on Sunday. I need to keep reminding myself that I have to record it for my friend James, who doesn't get HBO. I really should probably start watching Entourage, which I think also starts up again on Sunday, but it seems like too much effort to get caught up and all. On the other hand, I took the plunge into 24 this season, so that's a lame excuse.

This week, in place of what I hope will be my regular weekly top five list, I give you my (undoubtedly horrible) picks for the new baseball season:
AL East- Red Sox
AL Central- Tough one. Indians, maybe
AL West- Athletics
AL Wild Card- Yankees, although in reality it might come out of the Central again

NL East- Braves
NL Central- Cardinals
NL West- Dodgers, I guess
NL Wild Card- Mets

AL MVP- Alex Rodriguez, Yankees
AL Cy Young- Johan Santana, Twins
AL ROTY- Daisuke Matsuzaka, Red Sox

NL MVP- Albert Pujols, Cardinals
NL Cy Young- Roy Oswalt, Astros
NL ROTY- I have no idea. I think the Rockies have some kids who are supposed to be good.

World Series- Red Sox over the Dodgers in six games.

Enjoy mocking these in November. Hell, if there's anyone who does mock me for these in November I'll be fucking psyched.