Memo to David Chase

David, we need to talk. Now, I've following The Sopranos for a few seasons, and I'm something of a fan. Like everyone else, I'm sad that the greatest show in the history of television has to come to an end. At least, you keep telling all of us that it's coming to an end. In fact, according to the "next week on" trailer, there's only five episodes left. I'm glad you had the little reminder, because watching tonight's episode, I'd never have been able to guess that.

Don't get me wrong. It was an okay enough episode. Tony had some good lines, and the scene between Phil Leatardo and Vito Jr. was great. (Speaking of little Vito, I have to say that I never saw that locker room scene coming. In fact, on my personal list of moments that I never expected to see on The Sopranos, the goth kid who's dad was a gay mobster taking a crap in the shower was pretty low on the list, between Bogdonavich capping Christopher because he didn't like Cleaver and Phil telling his favorite Frank Sinatra story to the Chairman of the Board's daughter... wait a minute...)

David, I'm sure you know what you're doing, but shouldn't the bodies be piling up by now? I had at least three recurring characers clipped by now in the office pool, and all you've given us is Johnny Sack dying of cancer while Sidney Pollack watches.

Didn't you see Godfather III? Don't you know how important it is for mafia epics to end on a high note? You only have five hours left, and no one has gone to the mattresses yet. Hell, we haven't even seen the FBI since the first episode this season. Sure, you've resolved the Junoir storyline, and you seem to have set A.J. up to finally join the big boy storyline, but were still waiting for something big to happen this season. (And the fight between Bobby Bacala and Tony, awesome as it was, doesn't count)

We're all waiting for the baptism montage from Godfather I, and all you're going to give us is Tony gambling too much? Fugedabout it!

You still have time to give everyone's favorite show the ending we all know it deserves, but your time is running out faster than Tony's patience. You know what we all want- we want to see Phil take out Paulie. Or Tony take out Paulie. Hell, I'll settle for Meadow taking out Paulie. My point is, someone needs to kill somebody, and fast. Or you might as well bring Sofia Coppola in as A.J.'s new love interest and have Meadow move to Rome to sing opera.